![[icon]](http://p-userpic.livejournal.com/20345895/270459) |
You're all crazy. Every last one of you.
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| Yo.
I'm getting rid of this journal in a few days. New one is ![[info]](http://p-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif) agentvaughan if you're interested. This is the first and only time I've ever switched journals in four years. Exciting. |   |
| | Ok folks I'm outta here for a while. Got things to do, people to eat. Things to break and things to insult in real life. I'm tired of this stuff for now. Later. | | |
| Cell phones
Whatever. I hate technology. No, I hate the way people react to it. I'm not talking about being a dork and creaming your pants over some new X-box game or something. I mean people who act like they absolutely, positively cannot live without said technology and who are in completel bewilderment over how they ever did live without it.
Cell phones are a great example of this. Yeah, yeah I'm over talking about the egocentrical prick in the grocery store who's shouting out details of his sexual romp with some 16-year-old he had the night before. It doesn't bother me anymore because I hear people's obnoxious conversations all the time.
I can't stand when you're in a public place, or you're at work or at school and you're not allowed to have a cell phone turned on and every self-important fuckwad in the place looses their shit over it. What am I going to do for 45 minutes? Excuse me. I need my cell phone on. I need to hear it ring in case my mother calls me and tells me she broke her leg and needs help getting off the kitchen floor. Family is more important than this shit. Fuck this shit. I'm going home. Whatever you jackasses.
Even worse are the people who feel they have some superior reason for having their cell phone on them, even though they're only going to be waiting tables for four hours and really don't need it at all. Well, you see, my little brother gets out of school late today and he's going to call me when he needs a ride.
Great. Do what people did before cell phones were as irritatingly popular as they are now. Use a real phone. Because if I have to hear your phone's chinchy rendition of Candy Shop or 99 Problems all night, I'm going to smash that thing into pieces.
Remarkably though, there is shame in using a "real phone." Or God forbid a pay phone. | | |
| Myspace rocksksksks
Annoying.
I have so many "___called." jokes.
Britney Spears called from 1999. She says her manager at the time forced her to do the "quick-head-flip-to-the-right" move, and it was never really sexy to begin with.
Every other boring white girl in the world with no sense of style or identity called. They say good job with the chunky bleach streaks.
Poison called. They want make-up tips.
Your bathroom called. It says it knows you're only 18 and still live at home and are forced to contain your deliberate sleaziness and exhibitionism in places where your dad won't see you, but if you would please use your kitchen for a change because the showerhead is desperately concerned with attracting AIDs.
The horny, unsuspecting, epileptic meathead who intended to jerk off to your pictures called from the hospital. He says thanks a lot bitch. | | comments: 3 comments or Leave a comment |
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I'm pretty sure this qualifies me as being the lamest person in the world. I'm doing every single thing I hate when other people do in their photos. And I didn't do it on purpose. And my body doesn't really look like this. | | comments: 14 comments or Leave a comment |
| This is where I waitress now: http://www.redrobin.com/flash.html
I love it. Why?
We have a Royal cheeseburger that I can call a Roy-al with cheese and everyone knows why I'm calling it that.
I get to sing stupid birthday songs and act like an ass and goof around like I did at the nursing home.
I work with some hot tail.
Their specialty drinks are yummy as hell.
We are the first employees to work there. The place doesn't even open for another week.
I like everyone I work with, with the exception of that psycho broad I mentioned earlier.
Yay! I'm excited! | | comments: 6 comments or Leave a comment |
| Attention Whitey: Racism is none of your business.
http://www.livejournal.com/users/cynical5679/270783.html
Listen to this fucking gem:
I dont know if you have white people guilt or you think it will get you into heaven if you preach the evils of racism and call everyone racist but it won't, it will just piss everyone off THATS A VICTIM OF REAL RACISM OFF.
Listen, don't assume that people have no genuine concern or feelings about your "plight" because they aren't in your shoes.
Lol white people guilt. I had that once. Then my little negro boy with big funny hair taught me how to tap dance. It was aallllll good from there. | | |
| Shut up, Tara Reid.
Tara Reid Laments Wild Girl Rep
NEW YORK (AP) - Tara Reid wants to prove she's a great actress instead of a party girl.
The actress says the media has unfairly represented her and that she just needs a good movie to break the stereotype.
"I think there must be a journalist school where students are taught how to kill Tara Reid," the 29-year-old actress says in a Steppin' Out magazine issue on newsstands Oct. 12.
"The one thing I want to say about American journalists is: why is partying and having a good time bad?" Reid says. "And how come when someone else gets messed up or is a junkie or gets DUI'd and goes to rehab and is considered a hero again?"
Reid says she doesn't plan to go that route because she'd be "admitting guilt for something I'm not guilty of." Instead, she has fired her publicist and hopes to find a good role because the 'wild girl' reputation is hurting her career.
"I need one more great movie role so they say, 'Wow, she can act! She's a great actress.' Then I think they'll leave me alone."
Reid's film credits include "My Boss's Daughter,""American Pie" and "Van Wilder." She recently hosted "Taradise" on the E! Network, a version of the "Wild On" series.
Whatever. You're not hot. You're not talented. You're not good for anything really. Shut up and go away. Besides if you want to put an end to your party girl image, STOP PLAYING THE PARTY GIRL ROLE YOU DIPSHIT. | | comments: 4 comments or Leave a comment |
| | Banned three more people. Keep it up, bitches. | | |
| Feminism in this country is some crazy, backwards bullshit.
When I talk about feminism and hell, even other women in this journal, I'm confronted by a few lunatic females, ready to tear me apart and call me a hypocrite.
Let me point out that there is a glaring difference between taking pictures of yourself in your underwear, and doing what the chics on Girls Gone Wild do. Bring up as many fundamental viewpoints as you want. There is a difference. A huge difference. Many women are too stubborn to admit it.
As much as I hate to hear people say that women must be emotionally unstable in order to partake in acts of pornography or nudity or exhibitionism, it pisses me off more when people insist the complete opposite. To take sides only with one or the other makes you ignorant.
I'm too cynical to believe that a lot of women subject themselves to submission because it makes them happy. And I'm too cynical to not believe that a lot of women do it because they feel like shit about themselves and deem themselves worthless in every other way.
I don't understand how it makes you feel good to bend over a railing in some stairwell and let those creeps from Girls Gone Wild make a profit off you. I think a lot of women use modern feminist beliefs as a safety net in these situations. Call me crazy, but I think it's bullshit. | | comments: 14 comments or Leave a comment |
| HAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!!!!
Message I got from this guy on Myspace:
contact me!!!!
wanna cast u or make u a site $ ..u can pose for pics just as sexy as the ones on your page here and make a killing.
u get just 100 members at 20 a month, thats 2,000 direct in your bank account..u get 1000 members (which is still nothin on internet these days, and youd make 20,000 a month direct into your bank account just for posin for updated pics once or twice a month.
Im robb,
nj amateur adult webpage creator and adult filmmaker..
contact me if youd be intereseted.
everything from r-rated to triple x is avail
$$$
yjproductions2003@yahoo and on yahoo messenger
yjproductions20 on aim as well
woodbridge nj area
also..if u didnt wanna show your face for the webpage im workin on a new site called MASQUERADE wherein the girls wear pretty mardi gras masks that hide their indentities and their doin wild things.
$$$
908 510 8102 call me anytime between 9am and 7pm
Oh my GOD people don't seem to fucking understand. I DON'T REALLY LOOK MUCH LIKE MY PICTURES. I am stocky and chubby and pale. I take decent pictures of myself. I am no porn star, amatuer or otherwise. I'm not being modest either. Goddamn.
So who's going to prank call him? | | |
| Wtf Drew? WTF?
Is this Drew Barrymore or a homeless person?
I know you're not 19 anymore, but I loved when you were sexy and gorgeous with your short blonde hair and your sexy Marilyn Monroe makeup. Drew please, cut your hair and stop with the earthy look. It hasn't worked on you ever. Leave that shit to Lisa Bonet. | | comments: 6 comments or Leave a comment |
| Fictional characters I wish were real
Indiana Jones
I've always liked heroes who are extremely vulnerable. Granted, without a vulnerability they wouldnt be classified as heroes, but still. Super powers make shit so goddamn easy. I like characters who barely escape their doom because of skill and luck. Plus Harrison Ford was a sah-lammin' Indiana Jones.
Wolverine
He's completely normal except for one freaky mutation. Plus he's super pissed off and vengeful. Gotta love that. Although, I'm sure if he were real and I saw stainless steel spikes eject from his knuckles, I'd pass out.
Spider Jerusalem
I think the closest we got to having a cranky, outlaw political journalist was Hunter Thompson. And he's dead. So whatever.
( more ) | | comments: 13 comments or Leave a comment |
| I got fired today. I got fired from the easiest, stupidest job in the universe. I was let go without the satisfaction of telling everyone who works there to eat me out and kiss my ass.
It's for a lame reason, so I'm just going to tell everyone that I got canned for starting a fire in the breakroom and punching a buncha kids in the face.
I am finishing out the week, but not without taking part in some mayhem first. In our deli log book, where we note every single item we take from different departments (1lb grapes, $2.99 worth of rolls) I wrote "6lbs Imported Fromunda-$89.99." I wrote it in big, dark letters on the main inventory page. By the time my manager is calculating our deli expenses, I will be gone, and he will be scratching his head in his office asking for a price check for imported Fromunda cheese over the intercom. I love my life. | | comments: 7 comments or Leave a comment |
| Boring
I've had these undies for years. The little bananas decal is peeling off in the front.
I hate Kanye West so much, but I fucking love Golddigga more than you will ever know. | | comments: 15 comments or Leave a comment |
| I was listening to Tool in the car today and for like ten minutes I felt like "Oh fuck Tool is the dopest fucking band. In the world."
I don't think anybody out there doesn't like Tool. Like there are people who don't listen to them. But I pretty sure everyone who's into rock like, loves Tool. I don't even listen to a lot of music, but still Tool is the fucking shit. | | comments: 23 comments or Leave a comment |
| Quotes: Volume Melissa
"That Kanye West song is stupid, but that background track is cool. It's not even Ray Charles singing it, it's Jaime Foxx. Ray was amazing and he definitely deserved an Oscar for it, but he needs to understand he's not really Ray Charles."
"I like award shows, Casey. You gunna cut me up? Wait, what was it?"
-Cut you off at the knees and bury you alive.
"Yeah. You going to do that to me, bitch? Are you?"
"I was going to start that no-carbs diet today, so I was gunna make eggs for breakfast. But we were out of eggs so I had chocolate cake."
"I saw that owl entry you made on livejournal and I thought 'What the fuck is wrong with Casey?'"
"I don't see the point of the movie Super Size Me. No shit McDonald's is bad for you"
-Yeah but his point was to show how bad it is for you. A lot of people don't know.
"But still, no shit."
"Yeah, I'd get a million 'Happy Birthday' comments if I had my fucking glamous shots up there too!"
"Ugh I can't stand that bitch [Dakota Fanning]. She's so fucking pretentious and obnoxious. Die, die, die, die, die I hate you. God please just die already. Yeah, that's right keep screaming you stupid little bitch. Yeah "Ahh, ahhhhh" shut the fuck up. God I hope the fucking aliens kill her. Just die already."
Shug, get to Limeyland safely. And remember, Jude Law was caught with his knickers down, so don't trust those charming British boys. | | |
| Dear favorite people,
Stop deleting your journals.
<3 Case | | |
| Deli humor
I've also decided I'm going to refer a naive customer to our fromunda cheese that's on sale. :D | | comments: 3 comments or Leave a comment |
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You're all crazy. Every last one of you.
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